Chileans Too White to Interest Charity Organizer

Curtis Stovall

Curtis Stovall is Chrislip’s answer to Bono.  Bassist with the popular local band, the Groin Pulls, Stovall has been at the forefront of charity benefits throughout northern Michigan for the past ten years.  He has organized concerts to raise money and awareness for such causes as African famine, sub-Saharan AIDS, Sudanese refugees of the Darfur war, Hurricane Katrina, and the Haitian earthquake. 

Now that Chile has been hit by a devastating quake, what can we expect from our homegrown do-gooder?

“I’m going to Disneyland!” says Stovall.  “Not really.  But I am thinking of going to Cabo, me and the rest of the guys in the band.  It’s good to get away to the sun and sand in the middle of a Michigan winter.”

No benefit concert for Chile?

“Well, I watched the quake coverage on CNN,” says Stovall, “and couldn’t help noticing that the victims were… what’s a diplomatic way to put this?… kinda white.  I’m a celebrity, and there are certain things that give us a case of the warm fuzzies.  Helping Chileans just don’t do it.  It would be as pointless as holding benefit concerts for the victims of midwest flooding a few years ago.  What’s cool about helping Iowans?”

Stovall hastens to add that he doesn’t harbor Chile any ill will.  “I honestly hope the country can recover from this disaster.  But I think I speak for all of Hollywood when I say:  Not on my dime.”

    • emeraldsun33
    • March 24th, 2010

    Delightfully politically incorrect!

    • chrislipjournal
    • April 5th, 2010



    • Valeria
    • August 11th, 2010

    Ur an ass

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