Sperm Bank Opens Drive-Thru Lane

Coffee for the grownups, cookies for the kids

A lot of people were wondering why Throckmorton’s Photo-Mat was bulldozed last month, including Throckmorton.  It was to make room for an addition to the business next door.  Canned Parenthood, one of Chrislip’s oldest sperm banks, now has drive-thru access.

“It’s a fast-paced world we live in,” says manager Irv Burrows.  “People do their regular banking from their car, so why not their sperm-banking?  If you’re shy about conducting your business in the open, we have a privacy hood that fits most heads.  And if you find yourself in need of inspiration, there’s a life-size poster of my wife Nadine glued to the outside wall.”

Aside from the drive-thru, it’s business as usual at Canned Parenthood, Burrows says.  “Walk-ins are still welcome.  That’s the bulk of our business, with the drive-thru just a drop in the bucket.  And we still have four deposit stalls, so there’s very little waiting.  Even less if you don’t mind doubling up.”

Nadine Burrows

Canned Parenthood originally began as a peepshow in 1992.  It became a sperm bank in 1998 in what Irv Burrows calls a natural progression.  “It was one step after another in the pursuit of a childhood dream,” he says.

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  1. That Burrows guy’s a genius. This takes auto-erotica to a whole ‘nother level. The free privacy hood is nice, but I hear they charge extra for the rope.

      • chrislipjournal
      • April 6th, 2010

      Auto-erotica… now why didn’t WE think of that? 🙂


  2. Are you sure that isn’t a photo of Orly after Lincoln the Third had his way with her???

      • chrislipjournal
      • April 12th, 2010

      We’re not allowed to say. There are still some charges pending. 🙂


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