Chrislip Man Victim of Surgeon’s Boner

John Mozell

John Mozell was scheduled for surgery last Monday, so he arrived at Methodist Hospital in Gilder City bright and early.  By noon, Methodist’s crack transgender surgical team had removed his penis and testicles and sculpted a working vagina. 

Unknown to them, Mozell had checked in for a routine appendectomy.  John Rodriguez, scheduled for a sex-change, was at that moment in another operating room having his appendix removed.

The surgical team held a press conference this morning to address the error.  They were in remarkably good spirits, joking about Mr. Mozell’s “mangina,” and wondering “if he’s doing anything Saturday night.” 

“Look, we apologize for any inconvience,” said chief surgeon Sanghi Ramin.  “But we’re busy men, and mistakes will happen, especially when two patients have the same first name.  You can’t let it shake your confidence.”

Dr. Ramin was asked if there was any way to correct the situation.

“John Mozell was a ‘he’,” he said.  “He’s currently an ‘it’.  We could finish the procedure and turn it into a ‘she’, but that costs money.  We don’t come cheap.”

Mozell admits to sharing part of the blame.  “Just before they put me under, Dr. Ramin said ‘The first thing I’ll do is remove your penis’.  That should’ve sent up a red flag, but I just assumed that ‘penis’ was the medical term for ‘appendix’.  I told him, ‘You’re the doctor’.”

Mozell regrets the permanent loss of its manhood, but it remains philosophical.  “There’s always somebody worse off,” it said.  “Right now, John Rodriguez is minus a perfectly good appendix.”

Moments later Mozell experienced severe abdominal pain and was rushed to the emergency room with a burst appendix.

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  1. April 27th, 2010

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