Child Abandonment is the New Parental Empowerment

Shortly after graduating from high school, Angela Verlinde noticed that most of her friends were getting married and having children.  Or, as is more typical in Chrislip, having children and getting married.  Or, even more typically, having children.  And it seemed as if a great many of those children were arriving as sets of twins.

“Twins were everywhere!” remembers Angela.  “Gosh, it seemed like everybody had one!”

She also noticed that, while the parents were at first over the moon with their twins, the luster began to fade after a few years.  For one thing, there was the expense.  Caring for two children is roughly twice as expensive as caring for one.  Then there was the matter of aesthetics.

“I think the moms and dads began to wonder why they ever had twins in the first place,” Angela says.  “After all, you wouldn’t hang two identical paintings on your wall.  You wouldn’t buy two of the exact same dresses.  So why have the same kid twice?”

When she heard parents actually talking about ways to trim the herd, Angela decided to do something about it.  Securing a small-business loan, she opened Two’s-A-Crowd, Chrislip’s first twin exchange.  There, parents can drop off the twin of their choice and take home a child of a different age, size, sex, color, or religion.

Angela admits that people often skip that second step.  “The word ‘exchange’ is misleading,” she says with a laugh.  “Parents rarely take a new twin home after dropping off the old one.”

“MORE SOUP FOR ME!” this little fella seems to be shouting, after learning that his twin brother won't be coming home.

What happens to the twins who are left behind?

“Gosh, only good things, I’m sure,” says Angela.  “If you don’t have a little faith, than what have you got?”

Amen to that.

Angela plans to open a triplet exchange called Three’s-A-Crowd, and may even open a quadruplet exchange if she can think of a name for it.

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  1. My girlfriend is a twin, and we have like 5 other pairs of twins in our school of like 400

  2. The real story here is the sucessful start of another small business thanks to the SBA. I KNEW that stimulus money would get the economy going again.

    p.s.Hello? Hello? Is anybody out there? I eagerly await my copy of the Journal to show up on the doorstep each morning (or thereabouts) and I’m considering moving to Chrislip. But I’m getting a little creeped out by the lack of response.

    It reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode where all the buildings are just false fronts and the people are really in an alien child’s playhouse. Is Chrislip a ghost town? Is the editorial staff on spring break? My comments are getting lost in the deluge?

    • chrislipjournal
    • March 9th, 2011

    Well, we like to think we’re more like the Twilight Zone episode where William Shatner saw the monster on the airplane wing. But that’s beside the point. We’re sorry you haven’t been finding the Journal on your doorstep. It could be your paperboy just has lousy aim. Or it could be our staff’s fault. It’s not easy finding reportable news in a town whose only claim to fame is that it’s home to the second biggest ball of twine in the country. And yes, it is spring break, but that’s no excuse. We can write just as easily in our thongs as we can in suits and ties.

    We’ll see what we can do about cleaning up our act. Oh, and that should’ve read “second biggest ball of twine in the *county*.”


    • No, no. I don’t mind if you ruminate (or is it marinate?) between posts. It’s just that as your apparent #1 fan/crazed stalker, I appreciate some response when I contact the circulation department.

      Thanks for getting back to me, and feel free to stop by whenever you’re in my neck of the woods.

      Leaving now to scrub mind free of mental picture of y’all in your thongs…

  3. Name suggestion for the quadruplet exchange:

  4. What did I miss?

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