Writers’ Strike Cripples Chrislip Journal!

For the first time in its history, the Chrislip Journal has fallen victim to a writers’ strike.  The staff staged a full-scale walkout last week when management failed to meet their demands.  Their main demand involves money.  They want some.

Journal owner and editor Todd Farris feels it’s the writers who are being unfair.  “They’re very well compensated for what they do,” he says.  He admits that the staff isn’t paid in dollars, but in “toddlars,” coupons which are redeemable only at his mother’s candle shop.

We visited Journal writer Ted X. McCall in his hut.  Though spartan in appearance, it smells like a dream due to the presence of hundreds of scented candles, which he uses as decorations, furniture and clothing.  “We don’t think we’re making any unreasonable demands,” he says, preparing lemon and banana scented candles for dinner.  “We’re doing our jobs, and we’d like to get paid for it.”

Farris disagrees  He says that people who expect payment for their jobs are “communists.”

McCall stresses that he and the other writers will continue to file stories, though perhaps not on as regular a basis as readers are used to.  “You don’t give up the candle habit just like that,” he says.

It’s unclear how long the strike will last, or how far around the globe its effects will reverberate.  The Journal’s readership includes Dolly Salazar, TaleTellerin, Jerry Melton, and possibly a bunch of others, too.

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  1. Trouble at the mill, eh? It’s all part of the waxing and waining ( or even Wayne-ing) of summer. Just send that bunch of pinkos down here to Texas and we’ll learn ’em cause we’re a right to work your ass off for low pay state! We need more Journal! And stories about fudge.

      • chrislipjournal
      • August 27th, 2010

      Come to think of it, some of the striking Chrislipians were chanting “FUDGE!” on the picket line. At least we think that’s what they were saying…

  2. Trying paying them in “toddLERS” instead. Sure, they’re valueless as currency (unless you’re dealing with Angelina Jolie or Madonna), but you can make them do things like yard work, and they’re edible, too.

      • chrislipjournal
      • August 27th, 2010

      I like that idea, Dolly! It’s psychotic, but it’s also… well, I guess it’s just psychotic. For a moment I thought there was something else. 😉

  3. It has recently been brought to my attention that Michigan is the state where the Juggalo roam. Will the Nuge hunt them for food? We need facts!

    • chrislipjournal
    • August 27th, 2010

    Juggalos (and Juggalettes) as the main course, with some toddlers on the side.

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