Groin Pulls Make Good
Chrislip hasn’t flirted with rock ‘n roll greatness since John Tesh’s tour bus stopped in town to get directions out of town.
Now a local band of boop-boop-a-doopers is doing what John Tesh could not. The Groin Pulls, who take their name from a common sports injury, the groin pulls, have just released their first independently-produced CD, Refugees from a Dirtbag Town. It’s hoped that catchy tunes such as The Hellhole That Spawned Me and I’d Like To See An A-Bomb Wipe My Hometown Off The Map will put our town on the map.
Lead guitarist Lex Lucifer (real name Jimmy Lucifer) was scheduled to meet with Chrislip mayor Howard Presnell, but the meeting was cancelled when it was rumored that he was high on goofballs. An aide denied this, claiming that the mayor was merely suffering from exhaustion.