Cafeteria Worker Wins Nobel Prize for Economics


Doris Mervin isn’t famous.  She’s a nobody, just like you.  So it came as a big surprise when she was informed that she had won this year’s Nobel Prize for Economics.

It’s not unusual for such a winner to be unknown outside the world of economics.  But Mrs. Mervin, a housewife and cafeteria worker at Chrislip Elementary School, is equally unknown within the world of economics.  Announcement of her prize was greeted by economists around the world with a collective “Who?”  Which has in turn led to another three-letter word beginning with a silent w:  Why?

Nobel Prize Committee Chairman, Thorbjoern Jagland of Sweden, spoke about the decision.  “One of our undercover operatives was scouting the Quick-’n-Go market in Chrislip,” he explained in his comical language, “and he overheard Mrs. Mervin complaining about the prices.  She said, ‘Someone should do something about the economy’.  We felt that statement went straight to the heart of the problem and laid the groundwork for a lasting solution.”

Mrs. Mervin said that the next time she’s in the Quick-‘n-Go, she plans to say some stuff about physics.  “A Nobel Prize is nice,” she said, “but you can’t make a decent set of bookends with just one, if you know what I mean.”

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  1. “A Nobel Prize is nice,” she said, “but you can’t make a decent set of bookends with just one, if you know what I mean.”

    If you can get her to write that down, she’ll be a shoe-in for a Pulitzer for investigative journalism!

      • chrislipjournal
      • July 21st, 2010

      There are already rumors that she quoted entire parts of that sentence verbatim from Stephen Hawking. 😦

  2. This is why my granny told me never to eat the school meat loaf!

      • chrislipjournal
      • July 21st, 2010

      I can hear her now: “Boy, how can you be sure that the lunchlady is a qualified cook, and not some glorified Pulitzer Prize-winning economist?”

  1. August 28th, 2010

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