Chrislip Student Discovers Galaxy!

Clayton Mott is only a third-year astronomy major, but he’s already accomplished something that most astronomers don’t accomplish in a lifetime. Mott has discovered a new galaxy.

Galaxies are composed of billions of stars that revolve around a central gravitational point all day. They are so incredibly far away that someone like you might as well not even bother trying to imagine it. Mott discovered his galaxy while studying the images on time-exposed photographic plates. He plans to name it after his grandpa, who also liked astronomy.

The Grandpa Galaxy

The Grandpa Galaxy

“Technically speaking, this new formation is located in the night sky, slightly above and to the left of the neon sign over the Chevron station,” explained professor Benjamin Glick. He said that anyone interested in glimpsing Mott’s galaxy could do so by going outside on a clear, moonless night, walking to the bus stop on Crosby Street, catching a Greyhound to California, and peering through the 200-inch reflecting telescope at Mt. Palomar Observatory.

This reporter was sent to interview Clayton Mott, but was informed by him that this reporter’s cranial capacity was too limited to understand something as complex as nebular formations. This reporter suggested that Mott take that back. Mott suggested that if brains were money this reporter couldn’t afford a free cup of coffee. This reporter suggested that Mott was a lonely pencil-neck who was a whiz at science but a total washout with people. Mott suggested that this reporter’s mother was a painted hussy. This reporter said that the kennel just called to say Mott’s mother’s room was ready. Mott flung a clipboard and cut this reporter’s cheek with the metal part. It was at this point that Professor Glick terminated the interview.

This reporter feels that Mott’s so-called “galaxy” is only a smudge on the telescope lens, and that if it does turn out to be a galaxy, it’s probably not a very good one.

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  1. Boys, boys, settle down! Yall come on down here and we’ll watch the Marfa Lights and argue about that for a while.

      • chrislipjournal
      • July 14th, 2010

      Ah, I love mysteries like the Marfa Lights. Up here we have the Paulding Lights.

      • And there’s also Marlboro Lights. And Marlboro Lights 100s.

  2. When I was very little we lived in the Galaxy subdivision of West Covina, which can be on the way to Palomar if you start in, like, Pasadena. So there’s a good chance this Mott guy actually discovered a cluster of 1960s tract homes.

      • chrislipjournal
      • July 14th, 2010

      You might be right, Dolly. Actually, it was closer to the 1960s than the 2000s when we first wrote… er, reported this story.

    • chrislipjournal
    • July 14th, 2010

    blisterina :

    And there’s also Marlboro Lights. And Marlboro Lights 100s.

    I’ve always felt that those are just old wives’ tales.

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