Dog Owner Blames Satan for Rise in Same Sex Butt-Sniffery

Daniel Corvis used to like taking his Wagger out in the city park.  A fox terrier, Wagger took great joy romping and playing with the other dogs.  Then Corvis noticed a disturbing trend.

“Female dogs have always come up and sniffed Wagger’s tailpipe,” he says, “and he sniffed theirs.  I understand it’s normal.  But lately that’s changed.  Most of the dogs approaching him are boys.”Corvis, who describes himself as a fanatical Christian, blames this on the fact that most dogs are raised without a Biblical view of homosexuality.  He also claims that he can see the fine hand of Satan in it.

“People think it’s insulting to the Prince of Darkness to imply that he would waste his time meddling in dogs’ lives.  But believe you me, it only takes a minute out of his day to cast his shadow over Chrislip and turn a few greyhounds into gayhounds.”

Corvis asked the City Council to enact an ordinance outlawing same sex butt-sniffery.  They initially laughed off his request.  “Like we have nothing better to do,” chuckled Councilman Pat Cheever.  The law was later enacted when the Council checked their docket and saw they had nothing better to do.

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  1. We had two half grown pups, a blue healer and a biscuit dog, who got real excited with each other and tried some dog-on-ear sex which is quite illegal here in Texas.

    • Our male dog once humped another male dog’s head. Less illegal here in the Pacific Northwest. Also our first hint that “neutered” doesn’t always mean “neutral”.

      • I know what you mean. Gave the biscuit dog to my next door neighbor who had an older female brittany spaniel who would hump “Bruce” incessantly in a display of dominace.

    • chrislipjournal
    • July 3rd, 2010

    Was Bruce your neighbor?

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