Children Spell Diversity “YES I CAN,” Then Can’t
Last month, the 4th grade class at Chrislip Elementary School performed a disturbing rendition of “It’s a Small World After All,” a song most commonly associated with the ethnically diverse, animatronic dolls at Disneyland, and the migraines they cause.
Unfortunately, minorities, animatronic or otherwise, are in short supply in small towns throughout the upper Midwest. Chrislip, Michigan is no exception. The colors of our ethnic rainbow range from Irish-American to Polish-American. That is, from white to translucent. Of course, that’s our loss, particularly during basketball season.
Lacking the cast to pull off “It’s a Small World,” teacher Mrs. Johnson manufactured her very own minorities using ethnic costumes. “Diversity is important,” said Mrs. Johnson. “I don’t want another generation growing up believing that African-Americans are limited to only being basketball players or presidents.”
Throughout the performance, the singing would stop and one child, wearing his “people’s” clothing, would step forward and describe how America has oppressed them.
Starting off the program, little Ethan “Carlitos” McMahon announced that his fellow Mexicans crossed the desert only to suffer selective prosecution by the Arizona police. Then he peed his pants.
Then, ten-year-old Emily “Abiba” Gillespie, dressed in a burka, proclaimed that America was only fighting in Iraq for oil. “The truth is,” said the little cutie, “that *teehee* politicians in America are nothing but puppets *heehee*, and the oil companies of the Great Satan *teehee* pull their strings and make them dance to the discordant tunes of their world-devouring serenade.” Then she peed her pants and fled the auditorium as the audience chanted “Yes to Big Oil, no to YOU!” in unison.
“All in all, I thought the evening was a great success,” said Mrs. Johnson. “The beauty of a song like ‘It’s a Small World’ is that it brings people together. It’s nice to be part of such a tight-knit community.” Then she peed her pants.