Construction Workers Now 70% Less Vulgar

THEN: “Hey sweet cheeks, I got just what you need, know what I mean?”

NOW: “May I come over and wash your car and do your taxes?”

Spring construction has begun on Main Street, and the large groups of construction workers mean that the harassment of Chrislip’s women has reached its traditional fever pitch.

But the ladies report that the hectoring has taken on a more sensitive tone this year. The workers seem to be going out of their way to conduct themselves as gentlemen.

It’s a welcome change for Irene Mays, who in the past heard many crude remarks about her ya-yas, and sometimes even her zoomer. “The guys have been polite,” she says. “I can actually walk past them and not feel like I need a shower when I get home.”

Foreman Vic Foster attributes this to the fact that he’s now hiring actual skilled workers, instead of late-stage alcoholics and toothless banjo players who wandered down from the hills. Threats of legal action from victimized women have also had an effect. Prior to that, a “sexual harassment suit” was the name given to the uniform that construction workers wore on the job.

“Nowadays, the guys take pride in their workmanship,” says Vic. “They’re not the type to stand on the street and make vulgar comments. The other day one of them shouted at a lady, ‘Hey baby, how about takin’ a ride on this?’ Now in the past I heard that a lot, and it only meant one thing. But when I looked at this guy, I was surprised to see what he was pointing at.”

A shiny asphalt highway that he and his co-workers had just built?

“No, his penis. That was the surprising part.”

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  1. Alternate tag line: THEN “A Prince is a Prince, but a Ruler is 12 inches”. Having worked the trades, I swear by my closet full of blue Dickies, the next low life speed freak m/f that tries to sell me a stolen ladder is gonna get kicked in the nuts!

    • chrislipjournal
    • May 8th, 2010

    🙂 “I have a closet full of blue Dickies” would be another good THEN line.

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