Chrislip Mascot Arrested for Being the Wrong Animal

The Chrislip Lion

Yesterday’s high school baseball game between the Chrislip Lions and the Alderville Bears was interrupted by the arrest of Chrislip’s mascot, the Chrislip Lion.

Lars Belden, who wears the mascot costume because he isn’t good enough to play baseball, was nabbed by an Alderville policeman while prancing atop the dugout in the fifth inning.

Belden was dolled up in a yellow chicken outfit when he was arrested.  Unknown to most fans, there’s a law that prohibits school mascots from dressing up as animals other than those that their team name represents.  The law went into effect several years ago when the mascot for the Barrington Angels scared the opposing team by showing up dressed as a great big lizard.

Lars Belden took full responsibility for the mixup.  “I have a lion costume,” he explained, “but I sent the head out to have my eyeholes enlarged.  I could have worn the chicken head with the lion’s body, but when you’re representing your school, the last thing you want to do is look silly.  So I dressed up as a chicken.”

The game will go down in the record books as a 1-0 victory for Alderville.  It was a moral victory for the Chrislip Lions, who were down 16-0 when the game was forfeited.

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  1. Absolutely. No silly looking mascots and great math, too. Heh.

  2. Didn’t I see an old stamp with a chicken headed lion? Must have been back in the old booze daze.

    • If you manage to find it, show us! And if you don’t, forge it! Because now I wanna see. ;D

      • I just remembered, it was those bizarre experiments back in the 70s by KFC to create a four legged chicken with cross-breeding, the idea was to get a clucker with four drumsticks. Even though the program was a success, it had to be abandoned because nobody could catch them!

  3. Right! I heard there was also the problem that the lion part always tried to eat the chicken part of itself so that quite often, there were zero drumbsticks to be had.

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