Charity Run to Benefit Ice Cream Headaches

Bob Millroy

When Bob Millroy retired two years ago, he had a lot of time on his hands.  Unlike other senior citizens, he wasn’t the type to sit in a rocking chair or spend time with his grandchildren.  He hung around the house for several months, then announced to his wife that he wanted to take up long-distance running.  She announced that he shouldn’t let the door hit him in the behind on his way out.

It didn’t take long before Bob noticed the benefits of his new hobby, such as still being married and not being dead yet.  Now an experienced runner, he’s decided it’s time to give something back.  This summer, he plans to run across the state of Michigan for charity.

Little did he know that finding a charity would be the hard part.  “I called the American Heart Association,” he says.  “They told me thanks, but  said they already had plenty of money.  ‘Our Board of Directors are sitting around lighting cigarettes with $100 bills’, the lady told me.  I also contacted the March of Dimes, AIDS Awareness, and Habitat for Humanity.  Same story.  With all the fun runs, telethons, and cookie sales, these charities have a glut of money.  They’re rolling in it.”

After much research, Bob finally found one medical condition that’s been overlooked by the do-gooders of the world – that pain you get in your head when you eat ice cream too fast.  He feels it’s an ailment that’s been in the dark far too long.

“People think of it as a minor thing,” he says.  “They figure, ‘hey, just take smaller bites’.  Sounds simple enough, but to get that message out takes money.”

His hope is that someday – maybe not in his lifetime – kids can go to the Dairy Queen without that sense of forboding over what’s to come.

Bob will announce the route for his his trans-Michigan run as soon as he checks the atlas and finds the skinniest part of the state.

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    • emeraldsun33
    • May 2nd, 2010

    You guys are funny, funny, funny! Thanks for more chuckles! The title alone got me chuckling, and the last line was a perfect ending.

      • chrislipjournal
      • May 3rd, 2010

      Thank you, emerald!

  1. Sure, that makes sense in Chrislip, being so close to the pole. Ice cream season in Texas is more a theraputic thing to keep us alive. If it got even a teeny bit hotter in summer, we would collapse on the sidewalks and fry like bacon.

    • Bacon, you say? I don’t eat it myself, but I’ve been trying to talk my highly-carnivorous husband into taking a vacation this year…

      • chrislipjournal
      • May 3rd, 2010

      It’s mental images like that that make Hannibal Lecter drool. 🙂

        • chrislipjournal
        • May 3rd, 2010

        I was referring to Jerry frying on the sidewalk like bacon, Blisterina. Not you and your hubby taking a vacation.:-)

        Rob

  2. I couldn’t stop laughing for at least five minutes. Seriously! Your blog is awesome. I am definitely coming back!

      • chrislipjournal
      • May 3rd, 2010

      Thanks, Sarah! We’ll save a parking space in Chrislip for you. 🙂

      Rob

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