Plastic Surgeon Enlarges Man’s Nose by Mistake
With his 25th wedding anniversary coming up, local Hardee’s busboy Carl VanVogel wanted to get something special for his wife. He considered the traditional gift that Chrislip husbands give their wives on their silver anniversary – a card – but then he thought of something else.
All his life, VanVogel has struggled with a certain problem. One even more embarrassing than being a 56-year-old busboy.
“I have a tragically undersized penis,” he says, shaking his head. “My wife has been very understanding, but she’s off in Chicago visiting her sister, and I thought it would be nice to have a surprise for her when she gets home.”
He made arrangements for male enhancement surgery at Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow Hospital in Chrislip. “I went through the catalog, checking the different models they had available. I had almost settled on the Pocket Rocket when I turned the page and there it was – the Tommy Lee.”
Mr. VanVogel checked into the hospital under the care of Paul Weatherly, chief of plastic surgery. However, the charts and x-rays were placed upside-down in front of Dr. Weatherly, and instead of VanVogel’s penis, the doctor inadvertently performed the enlargement procedure on his face.
This isn’t the first plastic surgery mishap to befall a Chrislip resident (see “Local Man Falls Victim to Surgeon’s Boner”) Dr. Weatherly admits that he should have double-checked the information before starting the surgery, but, with his own retirement less than a year away, his mind has been on other things.
“I go into surgery, and all of a sudden I’m thinking about sailing my 28-foot boat down to the Virgin Islands,” he confesses with a grin. “I’m lackadaisical these days. Sometimes instead of washing my hands before surgery, I’ll give ’em a quick wipe with a moist towelette.”
That’s understandable. A dingy O.R. in Chrislip sure can’t compare to a sunny beach in the Caribbean.
Carl VanVogel is looking on the bright side. “I was hoping to give my wife an anniversary surprise,” he says, “and what could be more surprising than coming home to discover that her husband’s nose is the size of Tommy Lee’s penis?”