Fox Debuts “Vampire Idol”

Local walking damned Arnie Smoliver rehearses a Justin Bieber number

Chrislip’s FOX affiliate, Channel 6, is set to debut a brand new TV show:  Vampire Idol. Members of our vampire community will take a break from recruiting foot soldiers for their nightmare army in order to strut their stuff on center stage and show off their musical chops.

“People are naturally afraid of vampires,” says FOX program director Lee Olmstead.  “But beyond the fear, I think the foremost question in everyone’s mind is, ‘Can they sing?’  We’re going to find out.”

Olmstead denies that this is just a cheesy way to tie in FOX’s hit American Idol with the current crop of shows about vampires.  “Nothing could be further from the truth,” she says.  “People always suspect FOX of taking the low road.  (see “Teen Girls to Anchor Fox News”)  But this is a wholly original idea.  It’s nothing like American Idol, and if you take away the vampires, it would be nothing like those vampire shows either.”

The panel of celebrity judges hasn’t been picked yet, but it’s expected to include a crabby  Englishman, a fat black guy, and a happy-go-lucky lesbian who doesn’t know much about music, but is qualified to be a judge because, hey, she’s a lesbian.

The show will debut in the fall, right after FOX’s smash hit, Celebrity Autopsies.

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  1. “But beyond the fear, I think the foremost question in everyone’s mind is, ‘Can they sing?’

    Of course! ;D

  2. Wouldn’t want to go to that casting call. “People, please! Singing vampires over here and dancing vampires over there”!

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