Boy-Girl Couple Banned From Prom: “It’s about sex”

Jodie McKee

Dud Briggs

Jodie McKee and Dud Briggs may be the oddest couple at Chrislip High.  Jodie is petite, attractive, well-liked, and personable.  All the things Dud is not. 

“We hear the kids talking behind us in the hall,” says Jodie.  “They call us Beauty and the Beast, the Beast and Juliet, Butch and Sunbeast.  But we don’t care.  Dud is the sweetest boy I’ve ever met.  He’s my teddy bear, and I love him.”

 They’ve managed to rise above the scorn of their peers, but with the senior prom darkening the horizon, they’ve run into another roadblock – the Chrislip School Board.  In a special meeting, the Board ruled that Jodie and Dud will not be allowed to attend the prom together.

“We understand that they’re in love,” says board president Pat Agee.  “But when she talks about him being her teddy bear, all I can say is – and I mean this in the nicest possible way – save it for Hallmark.”

Agee maintains that the size difference between the sweethearts, as well as their beauty-to-homeliness ratio, makes them an asymmetrical and aesthetically unpleasant couple.  Asymmetry has no place at the prom, he says. 

Jodie is appalled at the decision.  After all, a gay couple attended last year’s prom.  If a boy can bring a boy, why can’t she bring the Sunbeast?

“That’s because Dane and Mr. Yoo-Hoo were symmetrical,” counters Agee.  “Just as nobody spoils the lines of a tuxedo like a fat boy, nobody does symmetry like homosexuals.”

He admits that, to some degree, the board’s decision in this case is about sex.  “For all we know, Dud and Jodie might have been planning to get a motel room after the prom.  Look at Dud’s picture up there, and then try to tell me that you think that’s a good idea.”

Agee knows that not everyone will agree with the ruling, but he says the decision is final, and that trying to change his mind would be like arguing with a block of cement.

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  1. or like wrestling with dud x

      • chrislipjournal
      • April 13th, 2010

      I think I’d rather argue with the block of cement. 🙂


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