Black History Month Snowed Out

Chrislip’s liberal and gay communities, Mick Williams and Jeffrey Roland, respectively, trekked to Washington DC last week for a seminar on the topic of Black History Month only to find the event cancelled due to snow.

“In Chrislip, we’d call a day with a ten inch accumulation of snow ‘Thursday’,” fumed Roland, already steamed about the country’s lack of a Homosexual History Month.  “Liberals like Mick feel everyone’s pain, but all the gay characters in movies and on television are based on ugly stereotypes,” said the hysterical gay man dressed in drag. 

Beware of black-face drag queens bearing gifts in a snowstorm.

Roland planned a protest at the NAACP headquarters dressed as Rosa Parks “accepting” mock gifts labeled “marriage”, “equal rights”, “military service,” etc.  Thankfully, because of the snowstorm, no one was there to witness the spectacle. 

Apparently the anger was mutual, as evidenced by the hostility of Professor Williams’ Twitter feed: 

  • “Nothing is worse for a heterosexual man than a 1,000 mile road trip with an angry gay man.”
  • “Tired of Jeffrey asking if Zack Efron is dreamy.”
  • “If I ever hear the word ‘fierce’ again, I’ll kill him.”
  • “There is a difference between liberal and gay, but, yes, Zack Efron is dreamy.”
  • “After a week with Jeffrey, I now favor banning gays in the military and my life.”
  • “I don’t care if ‘Brangelina’ divorce or move to Venice or adopt a Haitian or a Shih Tzu.”
  • “I miss my Republican friends, even though our mutual hatred is the only thing we agree upon.”
  • “I’m flying home… alone.”
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