Local News: Chrislip Woman Would Rather Not Know

Chrislip Woman Would Rather Not Know

Recently Elizabeth Young stuck her head out of her front door, saw the shadow of the moving van next door, and predicted six more months of recession.  The self-appointed Chrislip housing advocate has been on an unlikely crusade lately.  Her goal is to make correspondence from financial institutions more verbose and less comprehensible.  Ignorance, to Elizabeth, is bliss.

“When I get a notice from my bank, I already know it’s bad… I don’t need to know how bad,” said Ms. Young.  “If there are enough clauses that I don’t understand, I can sleep that night dreaming that one of them might save my home.  Bad news in plain English just ruins your day.”

As it turns out, Elizabeth’s day was ruined two weeks ago.  Plan B for Ms. Young was to convert her home to a homeless shelter, making foreclosure more difficult for her lender.  Now technically homeless herself, she didn’t even have to move out. 

Housing advocate Elizabeth Young explores options to paying her mortgage.

One thing that Ms. Young didn’t count on was sharing her shelter with Chrislip’s truly homeless.  This reporter visited her home to find it filled with refrigerator boxes.  “I offered them a perfectly good bed, but they’ve grown attached to their previous accommodations,” said Ms. Young.  “The result is an aroma that even the strongest potpourri is unable to mask.  I’m now advising my clients to pay their mortgages if they dislike the smell of urine-soaked cardboard.”

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: