Local News: Cafeteria Worker Wins Nobel Prize for Economics

Cafeteria Worker Wins Nobel Prize for Economics


Doris Mervin isn’t famous.  She’s a nobody, just like you.  So it came as a big surprise when she was informed that she had won this year’s Nobel Prize for Economics.

It’s not unusual for such a winner to be unknown outside the world of economics.  But Mrs. Mervin, a housewife and cafeteria worker at Chrislip Elementary School, is equally unknown within the world of economics.  Announcement of her prize was greeted by economists around the world with a collective “Who?”  Which has in turn led to another three-letter word beginning with a silent w:  Why?

Nobel Prize Committee Chairman, Thorbjoern Jagland of Sweden, spoke about the decision.  “One of our undercover operatives was scouting the Quick-’n-Go market in Chrislip,” he explained in his comical language, “and he overheard Mrs. Mervin complaining about the prices.  She said, ‘Someone should do something about the economy’.  We felt that statement went straight to the heart of the problem and laid the groundwork for a lasting solution.”

Mrs. Mervin said that the next time she’s in the Quick-‘n-Go, she plans to say some stuff about physics.  “A Nobel Prize is nice,” she said, “but you can’t make a decent set of bookends with just one, if you know what I mean.”

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