Local News: Former Illinois Governor Blagojevich Inspires Chrislip Locals

Former Illinois Governor Blagojevich Inspires Chrislip Locals

While former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich may be an embarrassment throughout the country, his taped request for a bribe to do his job has been a revelation for some local residents of Chrislip.

Chrislip College professors are complaining that students are requesting payment for turning their homework in on time.  Good punctuation and spelling often costs even more.  Even drivers find that they need to pay extra to have their gasoline actually put in the tank of their car.

 “The man is a genius,” said janitor Wanda Sheldon as she barred this reporter from using the men’s restroom in the Chrislip College cafeteria.  She held out her hand and said, “Hey, hey, these toilets don’t scrub themselves.  I need to get paid like that crooked Governor.”

When this reporter pointed out to Ms. Sheldon that she is already being paid by the school, she retorted, “That’s just waitress pay.  She brings you your food, but you still got to give her a tip.”

janitor

Searching his pockets for change, this reporter pointed out that newspaper stories don’t write themselves, either.

Replied Sheldon, “They don’t?  Well, then, you need to get paid, too.”

This reporter agreed with the suggestion.  Therefore, dear reader, if you would like to see the remainder of this story, you are asked to send $1 to:

Michael Wright
P.O. Box 35
Chrislip, MI 49738

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