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	<title>Chrislip Journal</title>
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	<description>&#34;When brain-eating zombies invade, our schools will be the safest place to hide.&#34;</description>
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		<title>Child Abandonment is the New Parental Empowerment</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/03/09/child-abandonment/</link>
		<comments>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/03/09/child-abandonment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Mar 2011 14:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[College News]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Shortly after graduating from high school, Angela Verlinde noticed that most of her friends were getting married and having children.  Or, as is more typical in Chrislip, having children and getting married.  Or, even more typically, having children.  And it seemed as if a great many of those children were arriving as sets of twins. <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2350&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Cats Just Gay Dogs, Vet Claims</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/02/18/cats-just-gay-dogs/</link>
		<comments>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/02/18/cats-just-gay-dogs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/?p=2344</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you own a cat, chances are you&#8217;ve noticed that it shares a lot of character traits with homosexual men.  It&#8217;s neat, well-groomed, self-absorbed, walks funny, and spends a lot of time trying to lick its own cahooty.  Dogs, on the other hand, resemble heterosexual men:  loyal, friendly slobs who are not above making frantic <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2344&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Teen Solves Hunger Problem in Chrislip</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/31/teen-solves-hunger-problem/</link>
		<comments>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/31/teen-solves-hunger-problem/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 31 Jan 2011 14:00:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Local News]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/?p=2336</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tyler Boden doesn&#8217;t consider himself a hero.  But then, heroes seldom do. Growing up in Elsinore Heights, Chrislip&#8217;s ritziest neighborhood, 16-year-old Tyler never gave much thought to the plight of his fellow man.  Like most children of privilege, he didn&#8217;t think much beyond which video game to play next or which member of the household <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2336&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Cheerleaders Put On Their Big Girl Panties and Man Up</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/cheerleaders-man-up/</link>
		<comments>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/cheerleaders-man-up/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 26 Jan 2011 14:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[College News]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/?p=2328</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most people in town aren&#8217;t old enough to remember the last time the Chrislip High football team had a winning season.  And those who are probably don&#8217;t remember because it had nothing to do with beer. Traditionally, the Chrislip High Poets have played about as well as their namesakes:  poets.  And while the long history <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2328&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Stars Change Position in Chrislip&#8217;s Night Sky</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/22/stars-change-position/</link>
		<comments>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/22/stars-change-position/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Jan 2011 14:00:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/?p=2317</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Chrislipians tend to be very old-fashioned when it comes to astrology.  We believe it to be the unerring word of God, and feel that it should be taken literally and not tampered with.  That&#8217;s why we were taken aback when it was announced that, due to the way the stars won&#8217;t stop moving around all <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2317&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Mayor Reminds Potential Assassins That He&#8217;s Not Important Enough to Kill</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/against-assination/</link>
		<comments>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/against-assination/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 18 Jan 2011 14:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/?p=2304</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If anything good came out of the recent shootings in Tucson, it&#8217;s the reminder to politicians that there are people out there who want them dead. Assassination isn&#8217;t just for presidents anymore. Even a low-level politico like our own mayor, Howard Presnell, has to be aware of the fact that one of Chrislip&#8217;s walking time <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2304&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Local Realtor Turns To Heavy Metal Feng Shui</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/16/heavy-metal-feng-shui/</link>
		<comments>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/16/heavy-metal-feng-shui/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Jan 2011 14:00:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[In this real estate market, every town has homes that cannot be sold.  Perhaps the former owners left a bad vibe behind while trashing the place before turning the keys over to the bank.  Or the house may have a bad karma after some notorious crime was committed there.  Or, as is the case for <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2296&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>City Council Adopts Vulgar Phrase as Town Motto</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/15/vulgar-town-motto/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Jan 2011 14:00:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Since riding the Republican groundswell to office in November, the eight members of the Chrislip City Council have heard whispers behind their backs. Whispers that they&#8217;re too stiff, too stodgy, too far behind the times. After all, each is a white, heterosexual, Protestant male between the ages of 50 and 51. They&#8217;ve tried several ways <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2284&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Tourette Syndrome Patients Attend Pricey Art Auction and Mayhem Follows</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/tourette-syndrome-modern-art/</link>
		<comments>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/tourette-syndrome-modern-art/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Jan 2011 14:00:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Local psychiatrist Max Trask is even more well-known for his love of fine art than he is for his ability to help his patients. So when he heard that a major art auction was to be held in nearby Gilder City, he thought it would make an excellent day trip for his Tourette Syndrome support <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2278&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Mayor Promotes Witness Protection Tourism</title>
		<link>http://chrislipjournal.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/witness-protection-tourism/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Jan 2011 14:00:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>chrislipjournal</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Tony Trevisano was like a lot of New Yorkers visiting Chrislip for the first time.  He was wowed by the lack of lights and the indifference of the people.  Whenever Trevisano bumped into a pedestrian while walking up and down the streets of our quiet, Midwestern town, they apologized to him without even knowing who <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=chrislipjournal.wordpress.com&amp;blog=8078139&amp;post=2263&amp;subd=chrislipjournal&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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